Giving Up
by vivaciousRingo
Summary: Sanji learned it much earlier. Now is the time to teach Zoro an important lesson about life. Thriller Bark arc. Warning: Sanji's foul-mouth. Disclaimer. It's Oda's Duh!


_A/N: I caught a cold and my mind strolled on the mysterious waters where Thriller Bark arc took place. Nakamaship fic. But if you squint you can take it as pre-ZoSan. This is a totally different view on the scene with Kuma and Zoro; my interpretation from Sanji's standpoint—I felt like I've been struck by a lightening by this idea, and despite headache and cold I had to write it and share with you all. Tell me if ya enjoyed~_

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**_Giving Up _**

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"_Great job. I knew you had it in you, you shitty bastard…" _Sanji whispered under his nose, to no one particular, though it was obvious to whom those words were directed to. He was sitting near the comatose Zoro and thinking over those past few days' happenings they've been fighting and next celebrating on the Moria's Island. He was confused. Or more true would be that he was confused over _not_ being confused. He _expected_ this would be the outcome—meaning Sanji sitting here and waiting for his infuriating nakama awakening. But_ still_ at _that time_ it was like betting on the wild horse. He followed his gut feeling even if there was no guarantee the result would be in their favor. But somehow he _knew_. He knew with the enough incentive the swordsman would be able to realize it's not the sacrifice he needs to make. And it was a job of his _nakama_ to show him the right path.

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_[Sanji's POV and reactions. Scene: Moment where Zoro offered his life in Luffy's place.]_

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Since the moment I met you, you were always trying to accomplish _the bloody impossible_. Like trying to cut your legs off to escape from wax—and what significant—_almost_ fucking succeeding, _you bloody idiot_. For _what_? To be able to continue the fight and win, legs or not, right? _To never give up? Right?_

Next, trying to cut one of your arms off, but thanks to scarred shitless longnose you couldn't turn it into reality. Again I ask _for what_? To keep fighting and beat the fuckers that stood on our path. To achieve our goal, correct? Let's not forget how you stood against the _Kaminari_—god of lightning, and didn't fucking care about possibility of frying your brain in the process. I must applaud you—because you took dear Robin's side and showed care in my stand, knowing _if I was there_ I'd be doing just _that_. To never show weak heart to your enemy, only believe in victory, _right_?

You didn't falter and believed cutting the impossible _is_ actually possible; you just needed to find out _how_ first. To cut _nothing_. Meaning being able to cut _everything_. Though it pains me to say it, but if it wasn't for you our mission to save Vivi-chan's country _wouldn't be possible_. Your arrogance and strong conviction was what brought out the sleeping potential within you. To protect our _nakama_'s treasure. For the right cause, am I _correct_? You pushed forward no matter the obstacles—for yours and your friend's dream_. To become invincible swordsman_—you got fucking slashed in half. I didn't want to even _look_ at you back then. I called it stupid—what you were doing. You answered; _you're the only one_ who can call yourself stupid. That you left your life behind the moment you decided to follow your suicidal dream.

_I understood it so fucking clearly that it _**pained**_ me._

I didn't like you then. The freedom you had. The means to follow your dream—I was _insanely _jealous of. To have the option of dying for what you believe in… I glanced at you saying some awfully cynical words. _Just because_ I wished from the bottom of my heart to have the power to pursue and find my own **All Blue**. _To die for it_— oh, how I was envious of your overconfident and carefree attitude. _But dreams are only dreams_. In the grown up world you _can't act like a snot-nosed kid_ and do whatever you felt like doing. It's a cruel and cold world and **responsibility** is a fucking _sour_ word that _shackles_ and _chains_ you—sometimes forever—and you _can't freaking imagine_ what it's like to _bear even a scrap of that_!

For such a _green-headed piece of shit_ that seems to know everything and act like a perfect first mate when you see the need— you _don't_ understand what it means to bear a weight of a _sacrifice._ You were the first Luffy's nakama, but you seem to forget that Luffy also bears on his shoulders a burden of being indebted to someone involuntary. _You didn't went through it_ –so _don't_ fucking act like you do the right thing. Because you can't even _imagine_ the heavy weight you're putting on his conscience._ By giving up… _You may fool others, but not _me_. I saw through you right away. You may have different attitude when you do things, but you are _more_ similar to me than I would even want to _fucking_ acknowledge.

_Well_, fuck you. You have _no_ idea what huge crime you're trying to commit. There's always a solution— no matter _how_ fucked up the situation may seem. _Guilt and regrets._ That's what you're going to leave us. "_Death is not an apology!"_ Hear the words of wisdom, spoken by the shitty skeleton.

_I_ learned it the hard way. I was _made_ to comprehend just how much it takes— both determination and effort _just to stay alive_. So I _can't stand_ other shitheads like you showing up content to throw it all way as though it's bloody _meaningless_. If you're _not strong enough_ then get stronger, you fucking shitty bastard! Sometimes hope and promise is not enough. But those are what keep us alive when we loose very important things…_or people_. _I_ don't want to get through this for the second time. So if words don't seem to reach your one-celled brain, then I'll fucking _show you._ I'll open your eyes and make you realize giving your life away is _not_ the solution.

I _don't_ want to see you haunting me in everyday activities. Remembering you and then realizing you're gone… Death was present in my life since way back I was a snot-nosed kid. _But_ I never had _nakama_ that I'd give my all—_my everything—_to protect them. _Yeah_, that includes even a green cabbage head like you. You spent most of your life on dry land, so maybe you don't realize it yet how irreplaceable are things while sailing on the unforgiving sea. Even those that seem unimportant be it things or people. You have to sail on next seas with never leaving you thought that something is missing. _I saw it everyday_. It was like a splinter in my hand that I couldn't get out without firstly stabbing it with a needle. But I didn't have the means to make it better. I believed I'll die with the word **debt** put on me.

That's why—I won't let you do this to me, Luffy or any of our _nakama_. I'll freaking _make you_ learn what responsibility is, you mossheaded bastard. If death was a sufficient apology, I'd fucking kicked your head in _a long time ago_.

You never said more about your friend than when you were facing Mihawk, but I've seen _the look_ you gave your white _katana_ and can easily put two and two together.

I thought you understood. Dying. _Suddenly._

Doing something by your own with you pea-brain is bound to bring a disaster._ I'll help you realize it, then._ I'll fucking _throw it_ in your face _what you're trying to do_, so you can actually _see_ where your responsibility _really lies_. After you get it—_act accordingly_ and…**live**! After all that trouble, I'll kick you hard enough to make a dent in your head; _to make sure_ my lesson didn't go to waste.

I can see it now in your eyes… Is it shock, amazement…_ fear_? Don't worry _Marimo-man_—I _think through_ my action before I make a move. _Unlike you._ And my fruits of labor are shown at the exact, perfect moment. At the end.

Heh, look at your face. First time you show me such an unguarded look. Is it really such a fucking shock to you seeing me offering my life for the sake of _nakama_? You bloody hypocrite. I simply—_can't wait_ to see how it will change near the end of this act. That's why— get your wits moving you _blonde-beaten-up-piece-of-moving-corpse_…

_"Hold on a minute, you jerk. What are you going to do if you die…! What'd happen to your dream… idiot!"_

Let me show you what is _really_ important, and maybe the hardest to keep from all the things in life.

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Ow— _fuck_. _It hurt_, shithead! Couldn't wait to finally get a one hit on me, _huh_? And with katana's hilt, _no less_. Tch, that's ought to bruise. Now I'm starting to like the look in your eyes. And don't forget—when I wake up, you're gonna get your ass whooped your momma won't even recognize you_, Zoro_.

* * *

**…**

The staring contest, Sanji and Zoro engaged in, was prolonging itself. It wasn't even an hour after the swordsman regained consciousness. His zombie-like state after he took whole ball of pain and fatigue—Kuma extracted from Luffy—really took a number on him, Sanji noted, feeling somewhat sick to the stomach.

Few excruciating moments later, Zoro threw annoyed look at Sanji and told him to wipe the stupid look off of his face. Finally it made the cook snort and smile a bit next. Zoro returned it with his trademark smirk, though weakened, because of his pale and exhausted face.

"I'd tell you the same _shithead_, but yours is permanent," Sanji said, an indescribable light shining in his blue irises. Part relief, part happiness, part annoyance, and a whole rainbow of many others, that Zoro couldn't place at the moment.

"_Heh_. Going to bring me something more solid? And _stronger_ to drink at that? I can't stand the shit Chopper feeds me."

"Talking big again. You think you can keep anything down?"

"I'm fine."

"_Are you_?" It didn't go unnoticed how much more complex and stronger feelings were put into this simple question. Zoro also knew Sanji like the back of his hand and receiving even a bit of love-cook's concern—_put in words—_spoke great volume.

"I'm fine, ero-cook. I'm still breathing and talking with you, aren't I?"

"What about—"

"—_Sanji_," Zoro interrupted whatever concern the cook wanted to voice. He played dirty, he knew. In serious tone, he used for _the very first time_ the cook's given name. Surprising Sanji a whole lot that he didn't even snap back at the rude interruption.

Next words falling form Zoro's lips were so unlike the famous _Demon Hunter._ They were spoken in a soft tone making Sanji bite his lip and swallow down his previous anxiety concerning Zoro's health. Being only the two of them present Zoro knew he could afford a bit of_ …sappiness_.

"_I'll be alright."_

"…I'll make you something _edible_ then. And—_no rum_, I don't want a running furball after me, spouting how he is going to _fix me_ when I'll try to mess up his patient." He turned to leave. Zoro hesitated. He knew words weren't needed, but even so he couldn't help but ask.

"Anybody knows about _it_?" He had to make sure. He had to.

"About _what_?" Sanji replied apathetically, his back to the swordsman.

Later, things went back to normal.

Sanji wasn't the only observant one. The stress and worry the usually composed cook went through didn't go unnoticed to Zoro. It showed in the blond's walk, his dress-code, and nervous fingertips' movements around the unlit cigarette. It was probably Choppers' threats preventing the cook to smoke in recuperating swordsman's vicinity.

Zoro was slowly recovering with paranoid plush-doctor on his tail. Wrapping the swordsman up in miles long bandages, so he wouldn't move the fuck around and train, _the bastard_.

They never discussed what happened. Though Zoro was certain it wasn't entirely closed case. There were many strong foes on islands ahead of them. But he'll take the lesson Sanji gave him. And hopefully never again make him doubt in their survival.

"_You don't know what you've got until it's gone_—I don't want to be **ever** reminded of this old saying again, _shithead_."

"Same to you, _shitty cook_."

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_A/N: Edited on 12-04-2011. I decided to rewrite it and fix as many mistakes as I could, because I was extremely touched by your kind words and con-crit, guys. Seriously. I was both in happy tears and all smiles. Thank you. And I have to thank all those who still read and put this OneShot in their favorites, you guys make me feel so accomplished you have no idea~! _

_Apple._


End file.
